Old stories never get old...

This story has nothing to do with anything, but its too funny not to tell, and I think about it regularly and laugh to myself. It sorta epitomizes Ward and his personality.

We were in Nashville a year ago at the end of our very first tour in Moby. We had already been down to New Orleans, and headed through Tennessee for one last event at a local park and to get some chill time with our friend Elise. On the way into town, its raining and getting dark, and suddenly we realize that none of our lights work, except the headlights. So we are barreling down the highway with the dome lights on and the hazards hoping we don't get plowed into until we get to Elise's house and park for the night. We arrive safely, let Ward's dog Cooter in the house to chill, and head out for the evening to see some sites. These sites included 60 oz. margaritas at a Mexican restaurant and then a visit to a real "local" bar. This bar consisted of a pool table, a wacky juke box, and like 3 dudes hanging out not talking, who may or may not have been wearing shirts, I can't exactly remember. It reminded me of something out of maybe "ROADHOUSE", but before Swayze came in and really cleaned up. Anyway, we sit down at the bar and order a few beers, and are chatting with the bartender and just hanging out a bit, when Ward notices this rounded cotton cloth thing laying on the bar. He picks it up and examines it for just a second before he pulls it tightly over his head, making a sort of cap, but awkward and not fitted, and starts making this stupid face. As he is laughing at what he can't see that he looks like, and I am laughing at what I do know he looks like, the bartender comes over and says, "Oh, damn, that's Edna's. She's an amputee that comes in here; she musta left her nub sock."

We left the bar not long after that, figuring nothing more ridiculous could happen than what Ward managed to unknowingly do, and we head back to Elise's house for the night. When we arrived, Elise opens the house and Cooter comes running out, so stoked to see Ward, hopping all over the yard, barking his little tail off, and then suddenly takes a triumphant leap back into the house-not realizing that the glass door is closed. Luckily, he is resilient, and bounced back (literally) from the shocking dive pretty quickly, but I think he was embarrassed about how hard Ward and I laughed at him.

The next morning we go and take the bus to get the electrical problem fixed. The dude realized that the reason their was a problem in the first place is that all of our wiring had been done with speaker wire.

-Shelley