Thursday, June 5, 2008

I need a spritz

It's hot. And the metal boxes we drive around do not have air conditioning. What they do have are those tiny little fans that are attached to the front of the bus that are directed at the bus driver, which is pretty cute, except that it doesn't really do much good when its a hundred degrees and the only thing your getting is hot air blown at you and your legs are sticking bad to the vinyl seats from all the sweat. Last summer it was rough on the road, but Ward and I figured something out to help keep us cool that ended up being quite a prop for entertainment as well...
We were in Philly staying with our friend Chance last summer, and he lived on the same block as this little store that sold all sorts of stuff for super cheap, like novelty ashtrays or slippers like the ones Chance wore all the time, even while bike riding. Chance talked about how much he liked the place, so Ward and I popped in to check it out. We poke around for a bit, and end of finding these squirt bottles for like a buck, and figure it would a good way to cool each other down. So we bought two, filled them with water, and immediately became refreshed as spraying each other with a fine cold mist.
So, a little while later, Chance decides to take us to South Street to visit our friend Scott at work and just hang out a bit since we had the afternoon off. We hop on our bikes and cruise through the city, taking turns leading the way, while shooting the water bottle behind our backs so the riders behind get hit with water. We get to our destination and decide to head to the Whole Foods for smoothies, and at some point on the way there, Ward sneaks up behind me, makes a fake sneezing sound, and squirts me on the back of the neck. Although I knew it wasn't real, it still has this disgusting feeling to it that made me cringe a little bit while laughing really hard at the new joke. Ward seeing that I thought this was way funny, he decides that it is a good idea to do this to complete strangers. A whole lot.
My favorite incident was when Ward gets this dude in the check-out line at Whole Foods, who gets super grossed out and sorta pissed about it, while I'm trying not to laugh and blow it all. Ward is standing there apologizing to this guy for "sneezing" all over the back of his head, and I think the guy said something along the lines of "your luck I don't' hit you", and then for some reason he changes subjects and asks Ward "Where the headies at?", of which Ward responded, "What?" about three times, before the guy just got frustrated and walked away. Ward and I looking at one another in complete confusion, not really understanding what had just happened. We find Chance and tell him about the situation, and he explains that headies is good weed. I couldn't comprehend why the guy figured that the dude that sneezed on him also new where he could get some marijuana.
Oh, Ward and I actually had this conversation at one point:
Ward: "They call me coach".
Me: "No one calls you coach."
Ward: "I do. I also call myself 'They'".

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